You've found the shit kids club! Not a drop of coolness in here at all.
"Hey, look what I can do when I'm sad!"
"My mother taught me this."
"I knew how to swindle from the moment I was born."
"My first rolex came from the doctor who pulled me out of the womb. Hardest bargain I ever drove."
"Believe it or not but I saw a god taking a bath."
"Couple times even."
"It's why I don't look too normal anymore."
"Not too bummed about it though. It's kind of sweet actually."
"I once came into this land with a staff in my hands and a dream in my heart. I swore before my dying father I would become its King or die trying. Booooooooooo~"
"I hear it sometimes. the end of all things. It's like a bell gong blow out of a saxophone."
"I can show it to you, but you wouldn't like.
"My mom went insade when I showed her. My brother... well, he's still out there, and whatever he's scheming, I want no part of."